The practical steps you have taken in an effort to master yourself make good sense. It is inevitable, however, that the new resolve and determination with which you are attempting to deal with your sins—and which, let me emphasize, I unreservedly applaud and encourage—will create their own tensions. Hence the anxiety, self-absorption, and “negative emotions” you speak of.

Something of a spiritual balancing act is going to be necessary: you must continue to exert your will and to work very hard to counter tempting thoughts with the Name, never letting down your guard, but at the same time you need to remember that the ego cannot finally defeat the ego. A prideful desire for perfection and a passionate desire for pleasure are two sides of one coin, and the first is considerably more dangerous than the second, as we can see of course in Christ’s condemnation of the Pharisees.

I am reminded of the following from Schuon:

“The great Gospel virtues—charity, humility, poverty, childlikeness—have their final end in the ‘Self’: they represent so many negations of that ontological tumescence which is the ego, negations that are not individualistic and thereby contradictory, but intellective, that is, taking their point of departure within the Self as such in conformity with the profound nature of things” (Gnosis: Divine Wisdom, p. 62).

Schuon inserts a footnote—and it is this I remembered—after the word “contradictory”:

“A guilt complex and a compulsion of humility are the commonest expressions of this contradiction. An attitude is false to the extent that it runs counter to truth; true humility, the kind that is most efficacious, is an impersonal ‘non-pride’, which remains independent of the alternative ‘humiliation-flattery’ and avoids all unhealthy preoccupation with the ‘I’. The fundamental virtues are centered in God, not in man.”