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Any number of posts on this weblog have been connected in one way or another with the dilemma you describe. As I’ve said before—though perhaps not quite in these terms—there’s simply no verbal formula that will provide a final resolution to the “problem” of faith vs. works. It’s rather a question of solvitur ambulando (the title in fact of a previous post).
About all I can do is repeat what I counseled in my last message to you: believe everything depends on God, like a good Calvinist, but act as though everything depends on you, like a good Pelagian; and rejoice in the meantime in the resulting paradox or koan as you anticipate its existential, or rather essential, resolution at that level of Reality where all questions are answered before being posed, a level fully accessible even now through our contemplative repose in the Name.
I really can’t say more, and probably shouldn’t even if I could!